immobilized paralyzed

things arent as well as id like them to be. my transmission went out so that means im negative dollars. with no job, i have to make hundreds just to pay someone to fix it and be broke all over again. why do things have to be so difficult? i just want to GTFO of here. i mean seriously is that too much to ask for? im tangled in this web of misery, yet no one truely knows how bad it is. i keep telling myself i can break free, but can i? ive relied so much on others and lost my self respect that im incapable of anything. oh by the way, i put ads on my ziggyflairs blog. ADS. what would gunty from last year think of gunty now? he'd probably kick my ass! im nothing but a sell out. stupid google adsense. i was dreaming when i thought of the idea. i cant possibly gain a big enough following to support my travels. i just hate myself for procrastinating so long. i cant blame anyone else, its my own fault. i just want to chop my hair off go away for a while. away from humanity in general. I HATE BEING STUCK! GOD DAMN IT SHIT!